Kerstin Höghielm's Blog

Harvard Business Essentials and "your Mentor and Guide to Doing Business Effectively is a book I bought in an airport not so long ago. I look at the table of contents and it looks good until I see "Women and Minorities ......page 113. The author describes that women and minorities do not get a coach or a mentor as often as men . It is described in the book that many companies affirmatively seek out qualified women and minority job applicant. "The people generally seek out and maintain mentoring relationships with people who are like them in terms of race,gender and interests". (page 114 source Harvard Business Essentials). Yes it might be easier dealing with people who are like the rest............. It is said that there is an absence of suitable mentors. I cannot understand it. Is Harvard saying that there are no mentors of a very high rang, understanding the female executive´s problems? Let me take a pause here. In order to be and act as a real professional coach you must understand the other person´s world. Male or female problems. Why are so many women coaching men? Why are this book saying that there is a problem for companies to hire a mentor (not even a coach) for a female executives?There are many coaches, and mentors ,like myself, who perfectly understand the other person´s problems. The only problem a man could not possibly understand is what it is like to give birth to a child. Why would not a coach or a mentor of high rang be able to coach a female executive? Because of that they do not understand what Life balance means? Or because of the existing reports of sexual tensions? Or what is this? "Developing relationships across chasms of personal differences requires a willingness to take risks, for both mentor and protégé" (protégé must mean mentee)Unbelievable! Why can not both mentor and mentee hold back and keep the level of contact and engagement at a distance?? If the risk is so high as described in the book, that mentor and mentee will start some form of another relation, why not take an external coach, online,with video? A mentor is often a person who have had or having the same profession as the mentee and the person is often an in house resource and the meetings are held face-to-face physically in the office. I would very much like toget an invitation from Harvard and I will for free give a speech about mentoring and coaching and how we are trained in order to understand the other person´s world. The world of men and women. I then see in the book that they refer at a survey made in 1988! Holy Cow.

A very good question. Who made you your choices in life? You or somebody else. We think that we are provoced to to certain choices in life, but I am convinced that it is only your self you can refer to when a choice from yourself have been made. "My husband cheated on me" I can hear when I coach a professional who has worries for his hers i marriage.Sometimes people are very sad, and blame the partner the only one to blame. Sorry, I do not agree, and thanks to the video conferencing system, my coachee can not spit in my face, because I m telling the thruth: It takes two to tango. Ok it is the partner´s choice, only, if he or she decided to cheat on you, but it takes two to tango. In some of our coaching sessions, we discuss conflicts. There is always someone at the office you cannot simply stand! What do you do about it? Find out a way to work with the person that works for you. When we coach we talk about and suggest to use the 6 human needs. The person you cannot stand, what need does he or she have? Six human needs go for everyone. 1.Certainty 2.Significance 3.love/connection 4.variety 5.contribution 6.growth What are your needs? What need comes first, second, third, etc. The person you can not stand, what are his or hers needs? Find out, and try to meet his or hers needs. If the need for example is about significance, try to find out what you could do to make this person feel significant, more important etc. It will make your day!

Today huge companies who have been on the market for hundred years fall! The did not keep up with the competion , at all. Despite Kodak INVENTED the digital camera, they are falling. They missed the whole opportunity.Companies need to change, along with the competition and grow. A company who does not change, will not grow. A company which does not grow will die.

Every day I read about how the politicians handle crises. Euro Crisis, Political parties conflicts and crisis. What impression do you get? How do politicians, company leaders, handle their conflicts and crisis? Some of them manage a crisis by blaming the others. Some pretend that the crisis is not that bad as it shows Some will try to reduce the problem Some will sneak away, and will hope that the problem will be solved by itself How do you manage crisis and conflicts? I do hope you DEAL WITH IT! Take external help and DEAL WITH IT.